At the root of most of our “hurts, habits, and hang-ups” is an inability or an unwillingness to forgive. Forgiveness is the cornerstone of healing, recovery, restoration. But it is hard to do. Here are some thoughts that might help move you along the path from unforgiving to forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not a license. I do not have to become a doormat or continue to suffer abuse.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. I make a decision to forgive.
But forgiveness is not just a cognitive exercise. I forgive with my head and my heart.
So, to forgive I must be willing to let go of the resentment. I must release the other from the responsibility yo make it up to me. And, I must offer the possibility of reconciliation. There has to be a way back. Whether or not they follow it is up to them,
How do I do that?
- Don’t make it about you.
- Don’t rehearse the offense.
- Give the wound and the wounder to God.
- Choose to pray for blessing for the offender.
- Seek to be empathetic.
Remember, unforgiveness keeps me chained to the offender. Unforgiveness dries up my spirit. Unforgiveness destroys my joy. And unforgiveness breeds unforgiveness.
When you remember or feel the unforgiveness rise up within you, name it and claim it. Acknowledge to yourself what that person did that makes you feel this way. Give it to God. And claim His forgiveness over them and in you.