https://youtu.be/DofjXzR6mbg Here’s the MondayMatters Video.
Yesterday, on Mother’s Day, I wrote a short blog about the tension mothers often carry between joy and suffering. I’ll post a link to that in the notes below if you’d like to read it. But that reflection prompted me to follow up here on MondayMatters with a look at what Richard Rohr calls “necessary suffering.”
In Falling Upward, Richard Rohr explains that “necessary suffering” represents the inevitable failures, heartbreaks, and losses that push us out of our comfort zones. These trials are required for spiritual growth, forcing us to surrender our egos and transition from the first half of life to the second.
He says, “Some kind of falling, what I call ‘necessary suffering,’ is programmed into the journey.” Rohr goes on to say, “All falling, no growth! Always on top, no growth! There is a ‘necessary suffering’ to human life, and if we avoid its cycles we remain immature forever.”
Rohr writes that much of our suffering comes from resisting the pain that naturally accompanies being human. He says, “Refusal of the necessary pain of being human brings a person ten times more suffering in the long run.” That is not a celebration of pain. Christianity never glorifies suffering for suffering’s sake. But Scripture and experience both teach us that God often uses suffering as a tool of transformation.
James 1 tells us to “count it all joy” when we face trials because testing produces perseverance. Romans 5 says suffering produces endurance, character, and hope. Even Jesus “learned obedience through what He suffered.” So today I want to talk briefly about three values of suffering.
First, suffering teaches us resilience. None of us volunteer for hardship. But hardship has a way of strengthening parts of us that comfort never touches. A muscle only grows when it resists pressure. In the same way, faith often grows under strain.
When life goes smoothly, we may talk about trust. But when prayers seem unanswered, when grief settles in, when the diagnosis changes everything, or when disappointment lingers longer than we expected—that is when resilience is formed.
Paul said in 2 Corinthians 4, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.” He did not say believers avoid pressure. He said we are not destroyed by it. Resilience is not pretending things do not hurt. It is discovering that God sustains us in the hurt.
Many of the strongest people you know are not strong because life was easy. They are strong because life was hard, and God met them there repeatedly. Every trial survived becomes a testimony that says, “The Lord carried me then, and He will carry me now.”
Second, suffering increases our gratitude. One of the strange gifts of pain is that it awakens us to blessings we once overlooked. When you have walked through loss, ordinary things suddenly become sacred. A quiet morning. A phone call from a friend. A good report from the doctor. A family dinner. A pain-free day. Things once assumed become deeply appreciated.
Suffering has a way of stripping away entitlement. It reminds us that life itself is grace. The Apostle Paul wrote from prison about rejoicing always. That seems impossible until you realize gratitude is often deepest, not in abundance, but in adversity. Sometimes, we do not recognize how blessed we are until something fragile reminds us how quickly life can change.
Gratitude born from suffering is different from shallow positivity. It is not denying pain. It is recognizing that even in pain, God is still present, still good, and still giving gifts worth noticing.
Third, suffering deepens our awareness of Christ. There are dimensions of Jesus you simply cannot understand from a distance. You encounter them personally in suffering.
My life verse is Philippians 3:10, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection, the fellowship of His sufferings.” That is a strange phrase until you have suffered enough to realize Christ is especially near to the brokenhearted. When we suffer, we become more aware of the Man of Sorrows who carried grief Himself. We read differently. We pray differently. Worship changes. Verses we once skimmed suddenly feel alive because pain has opened our eyes.
C.S. Lewis said that God whispers in our pleasures but shouts in our pain. Suffering has a way of clearing the distractions and forcing us to wrestle with eternal things. And often, our suffering also increases our compassion. People who have suffered deeply tend to love more gently. They listen more carefully. They become slower to judge and quicker to comfort.
Listen, if you are a living, breathing human being, you will know suffering. So the question is not, “Why am I suffering?” But, “What can I learn from it?” Well, at least these three things:
Resilience.
Gratitude.
A deeper awareness of Christ.
None of us would choose suffering. But many of the most beautiful qualities in a human soul are formed there. And maybe that is why Paul could say in Romans 8 that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us.
Mike
PS I have been asked to make a more intentional connection of my various musings and Branches. The good news is that I will, hopefully, be more consistent in landing places for blogs, daily thoughts, and MondayMatters videos. You can be very helpful with this by:
1. Liking and sharing the various posts on your favorite social media platforms.
2. Following and subscribing to be notified when new stuff posts.
3. Responding whenever you can with comments, suggestions for future topics, ideas to write on, and $20 bills (🤓just kidding about that one.)
Here’s a place to start:
Go to branchesblog.com and subscribe.
Go to my YouTube channel ( @cmichaelcourtney ) and the Branches channel ( @BranchesCounseling ) and subscribe and comment.
Finally, go to my Facebook page (Mike Courtney) and the Branches Facebook page (Branches Counseling Center) and like, share, and subscribe.
Thank you, blessings on you and all you do. Mike