https://youtu.be/LsHbPtTRAKY?si=9RJPdehTCzDjlGpf
Attachment Theory is a modern, overworked way of describing various kinds of unhealthy relationship styles and the reasons for them.
At the risk of overworking it again;
Anxious Attachment Style is fearful, anticipating rejection and has a mindset of “You’re okay but Im not okay.” They can smother a relationship with neediness and when it suffocates, say, “See, I knew I wasn’t good enough.”
Avoidant Attachment Style is convinced it is just safer to not be fully committed. People are not safe. I am not safe. It’s probably never going to work so I just won’t give it a chance in the first place. “You’re not okay and I’m not okay.”
Ambivalent Attachment Style is confused by all of the trauma associated with relationships and will not trust the other person. They say “I’m okay but you’re not okay.” They sabotage relationships in a first strike approach.
Well, that’s not the point of this MondayMatters. The point is to say, we are not created for any of these kinds of relationships. We are created in the image of God, deeply loved by our Creator, and made for community with other God image-bearing creatures. Our approach can be, “I’m okay and you’re okay.”
God invites us into happy, healthy, and holy relationships with one another.
-“The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want.”
-“Abide in Me (Jesus) as I abide in you.”
-“Perfect love (the kind that God offers) casts out fear.”
God created you for and invites you to secure relationships. So, ask yourself:
Do I relate to others based on fear or trust that God can make this good?
Do I live in my old wounds or in the present day, restored healing that God has for me?
Am I willing to surrender my relationships to Him and allow Him to create the attachment style He desires?
You are loved and you are lovable. Go treat yourself and others that way.
