Here’s the video https://youtu.be/0H1eOc4tJWk?si=DFwKfabq2hujCqlp
When Doris and I married, Chonda thought it would funny to be funny. She used white shoe polish to write “Help Me!” on the soles of my shoes. Nobody knew that, including me, until we knelt to pray. In retrospect, she should have written that on Doris’s shoes.
One of the hardest things about getting help is just knowing when you need it. And most of the time, the more you need it, the harder it is to know. Especially in the non-tangible spaces like your emotions, your spiritual life, and your relationships.
Here are five things to look out for in those areas, five signs that you might need to say, “Help Me!”
1, Loss of interest – when the things that used to make you happy or give you life no longer have an appeal, it might be time to look for help. Tennis isn’t fun anymore. I don’t like going to church. My friends no longer feel like friends. Those are all symptoms of losing interest in the things that used to be important to you and maybe you need some help.
2. Social isolation – when things aren’t fun, especially my friends, I tend to withdraw, pull away, isolate. Almost everything is easier when I have a little help. And when I close out those who could help me I am just asking to spiral downward. Here’s a rule of thumb, when you don’t want to be with people you need to be with people.
3, Physical changes – one of the best sellers of the last decade is The Body Keeps Score by Bessel van dear Kolk. The primary idea is that emotional pain produces physical responses. When you begin feel unfamiliar pains, new chronic issues like insomnia or loss of appetite, that might be a sign that help is needed and your body is trying to get your attention.
4. Unhealthy coping – we are not made to have our need for help not met. When we fail to reach out we sometimes find habits, behaviors, or even addictions to try and make up what we are lacking. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll is not just a catchy description of my generation, it is also a list of things we used to try to cope with the wounds and trauma that we carried. If you find yourself doing stuff that surprise you, seek help.
5, Finally, pervasive negativity – depression has become a by-word of this age. We all either are depressed, have been, or will be. But blue Mondays, or sad seasons that last for weeks may be more than just a little melancholy. When this stuff hangs on, won’t go away, is impossible to shake, that’s the time to reach out for help.
So who do you turn to when it’s time to seek help? Here are four categories. Go through this list, put the name and phone number down of someone who could be there for you from each group. Then call when you realize you need help:
*Friends and family – just someone to talk to.
*Pastors or mentors – have someone that you trust.
*Counselors and coaches – not always, but sometime you need a professional.
*But start here:
“I will lift up mine eyes to the hills where my help comes from. Where does my help come from? It comes from the Lord.” Psalm 121:1-2
