8/28/23 MondayMatters: The Hard Truth About Forgiveness

8/28/23 MondayMatters: The Hard Truth About Forgiveness

At the root of most of our “hurts, habits, and hang-ups” is an inability or an unwillingness to forgive. Forgiveness is the cornerstone of healing, recovery, restoration. But it is hard to do. Here are some thoughts that might help move you along the path from unforgiving to forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not a license. I do not have to become a doormat or continue to suffer abuse.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. I make a decision to forgive.

But forgiveness is not just a cognitive exercise. I forgive with my head and my heart.

So, to forgive I must be willing to let go of the resentment. I must release the other from the responsibility yo make it up to me. And, I must offer the possibility of reconciliation. There has to be a way back.  Whether or not they follow it is up to them,

How do I do that?

  • Don’t make it about you.
  • Don’t rehearse the offense.
  • Give the wound and the wounder to God.
  • Choose to pray for blessing for the offender.
  • Seek to be empathetic.

Remember, unforgiveness keeps me chained to the offender. Unforgiveness dries up my spirit. Unforgiveness destroys my joy. And unforgiveness breeds unforgiveness.

When you remember or feel the unforgiveness rise up within you, name it and claim it. Acknowledge to yourself what that person did that makes you feel this way. Give it to God. And claim His forgiveness over them and in you.

https://youtu.be/yhcEhH5aeCk?feature=shared

8/21/23 MondayMatters: The Hearts of the Children

8/21/23 MondayMatters: The Hearts of the Children

Nothing could be more heart breaking, I imagine, than the estrangement of our children. And yet it happens so many time. I meet couples all of the time that are suffering from separation from their children, sometimes without knowing why. The one thing we cannot do is lose hope. Here are some thoughts about God’s… Continue Reading

7/31/23 MondayMatters: Grandparenting

7/31/23 MondayMatters: Grandparenting

How do you connect with your grandkids? How do we talk to the younger generation in general? Here are five things to remember when you are working with the young people in your life. Remember they are people. Remember they have personality. Remember they have parents. (And you are not them.) Remember they are the… Continue Reading

6/19/23 MondayMatters: part 3 of Marriage Musts

6/19/23 MondayMatters: part 3 of Marriage Musts

https://youtu.be/jHtVz2kEYG8   Finally we finish three weeks of marriage musts, the things I believe are essential after 45 years. Here’s a complete list: 1. Gravity is stronger than synergy. Fight against it. 2. Be consistently intentional about space and time. 3. Foster mutual respect and admiration. 4. Never stop learning about yourself and each other.… Continue Reading

5/29/23 MondayMatters: Humility

5/29/23 MondayMatters: Humility

It’s hard to talk about. As soon as I “teach” about humility I come across as prideful and arrogant. But humility is vital to becoming happier, healthier, and a little bit holier. Here are some thoughts (humbly) on humility. https://youtu.be/0eQ_jiNtpMU   Continue Reading

Experiencing the Experience

Experiencing the Experience

I wrote this a couple of years ago. I was prompted to post it again by the visit this weekend of our friends, Dave and Nancy Maute.  We relived a lot of experiences in the last 48 hours. When I was young, very young, I loved playing baseball. I don’t think I was ever really… Continue Reading